Final Gift to Sugar

Our intent was to give Sugar, my niece's Arab, one last warm summer to enjoy before euthanizing her, but it is not to be. The cancerous ulcers have broken through the tissue on her face and around her ears. She has large lumps in her throat and jaws. She has raked the skin off the ulcers, making them open and oozing, inviting insect activity. She is skin and bones, and not gaining weight, despite a voracious appetite and free will diet of calorie- and nutrient- laden feeds and supplements along with fresh spring grass.

This afternoon, she will be euthanized. It is not a small endeavor to do so. A method, a time, a disposal, all have to be considered. Tonight, a backhoe will dig a horse-sized hole, and then stand by for the 'after' part.

I will have already administered Bute, a powerful pain reliever, in excessive amounts. Sugar will be led to a quiet place, where I will place a large caliber gun to the spot purported to be most effective, at the prescribed 75-80 degrees, and pull the trigger. She will then be pushed into the grave by the backhoe, covered with soil, and mourned.

This horse owner stuff is hard. But, if one is a true animal lover, it is worse not to do one's duty. Code of the West. I just wish it didn't hurt the euthanizer, too.

From a veterinary school's website, offered as advice to horse owner's:

Details of Euthanasia Methods

Gunshot

The proper location of gunshot penetration is important in the destruction of the brain and minimizing suffering. The optimal site for penetration of the skull is one-half inch above the intersection of a diagonal line from the base of the ear to the in side corner of the opposite eye. The firearm should be aimed directly down the neck, perpendicular to the front of the skull, and held at least 2-6 inches away from the point of impact. When performed skillfully, gunshot induces instantaneous unconscio usness, is inexpensive, and does not require close contact with the horse.

A .22-caliber long rifle is recommended, but a 9mm or .38-caliber handgun will be sufficient for most horses. The use of hollow-point or soft nose bullets will increase brain destruction and reduce the chance of ricochet. If a shotgun is the only avai lable firearm, the use of a rifled slug is preferred.

This method should only be attempted by individuals trained in the use of firearms and who understand the potential for ricochet. Care must be taken to minimize the danger to the operator, observers, and other animals. Personnel must comply with all la ws and regulations governing the posession and discharge of firearms; local ordinances may prohibit the discharge of firearms in certain areas.

Penetrating Captive Bolt Gun

When properly used, the penetrating captive bolt gun produces immediate brain tissue destruction that kills the animal. Captive bolts are powered by gunpowder, thus the selection of the cartridge strength should be appropriate for the size of the animal (adult vs. foal) and this varies among manufacturers. The penetrating captive bolt gun should be placed very firmly against the skull at the same location (see diagram, right) previously described for gunshot. Horses must be adequately restrained to e nsure proper placement of the captive bolt.

Maintenance and cleaning of the penetrating captive bolt gun, as described by the manufacturer, must be followed to ensure proper operation.

Hello, good-bye

Long, long time since I have posted. I have been in emotional and physical pain. Blogging about it seemed self-indugent. Been confused, in a quagmire, and unable to engage.

Man, this mid-life re-programming is the shits!

Maybe I'll be more communicative in the future. Right now, washing my hair seems like a foray into energetic hopeful-ness...

I am tired.