I want a puppy!

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Am I crazy or what?  Well, wait, don't answer that.  What I mean is; I recently lost my beloved doggy, Cali.  And I miss having a dog of my own.  Winston is here, and helps, but he is not my own.

In fact, this is the first time in nineteen years that I have been dogless.  Lousy timing, considering my recently emptied nest.  At first, I thought these feelings seemed treasonous to Cali's memory. I felt guilty and undeserving of the selfless regard that she held for me.

But, then, I began to realize that Cali was all about love, and her biggest concern was me.  She looked directly into my eyes until her last moment on earth, no matter who held her or what was being done to her.  We had an amazing connection.  

I think she wants me to be happy, even if that means watching me from afar as I hold another doggy.  She is a benevolent spirit in my heart.  She was a kind and forgiving fur person in life.  

At least that is what I tell myself as I think occasionally about getting another dog in a year or so.  That she would understand.  That she knows that, as long as I am dogless, there is a piece of my heart missing.  That, if she were here, I would not be so lonely.