Why Does This Scare Me?

The only thing funner, more exciting in terms of television watching, than watching Ice Road Truckers battle the elements to get their load to isolated frozen communities, is watching my husband watch IRT. Actually, no, it is only instructional...

When I met my husband, he was a truck driver, on his way to law school. He had driven massive Euclid pit trucks in a copper pit in Nevada. He had near misses with the huge trucks on narrow, recently constructed roads winding hundreds of feet up the the surface. He remembers, viscerally, the close calls when he watches these shows and, years later, the true meaning comes back to haunt him. It is a PTSD-like experience, accompanied by elevated heart rate, blood pressure and temperature. He gets a lightheadedness, a near panicky reaction.

At the time, decades ago, he did what he had to do. He was in the moment, dealing second by second with a vibrating resistant steering wheel, a steep drop off, and a sliding, slewing load. Death or disaster was near at hand. Now, his body and mind remember, and allow him to process; the fear, the anxiety, and the flight or fight reaction. Problem is, he doesn't need the input now. Dang, he had a cerebral hemorrhage only seven months ago...But, the body makes no distinction between then and now. And, so he feels everything, but has a morbid attraction/curiosity to the show. Maybe in a 'facing the fear' kind of way.

That, my friend, is PTSD. In a nasty nutshell...