Dear Sweet Friend,
Thank you for asking me for advice. I will offer my thoughts, and remember, I am looking in from outside, and can't know all the issues, let alone any of the solutions.
In eastern philosophy, there is a saying, 'When the learner is ready, the teacher will appear'. I thought and thought about that saying. It does not mean that God determines our readiness and poof! provides a teacher. The teacher may have been there all along, sleeping in the same bed with us or working in the cubby next door, but we don't listen and learn until our mind, heart and life is prepared. Another, more direct Western, way of saying this is 'When the soil is ready, the seed will sprout'.
You have been placed in this man's path twice in ten years. Neither time, for very different reasons, was THE time. Because you are the more sensitive, dreaming, hopeful and open one, you get hurt. You are the little seed that tries and tries to push into the hard dry barren soil without success. I am sorry for you. But, even if allowed to sprout this time in his life, it would turn out poorly, and you would grow to become weak and stunted. He is barren and non-nourishing right now.
Cut your losses. Gently but firmly close the door NOW. He will respect you more for not dithering or begging or flaring. State your case clearly and lovingly, saying that you have expectations of the man who will become your partner and he is unable to meet those at this time. You have given, you have a right to expect to be given back to, without score keeping or dramatic reluctance. You are a catch. You aren't perfect, but you also don't expect your ultimate partner to be.
Wish him luck and blow him a kiss as your helicopter lifts off, taking you to another adventure. He will feel the loss, and, more importantly, you will be providing him with what could be a life altering lesson, if he is ready. If not, know that you are doing what is best for you.
Good luck. I love you.
No comments:
Post a Comment