Servicing Our Loved Ones: I Am a Giver

How do you service your loved ones?

I am listing some of the things I do:

food (immediate cooking and preserving for later use)

laundry

transport

companionship

massage

editing

advocacy

laundry

interpreting

medical advice

listening

support

money

advice

sympathy

presence

touch

wisdom

acceptance

training

The list could go on and on, but these are the most common. Do they appreciate it? Sometimes. Do they get the extent of the effort? No.

I am sure that the full impact or realization will only happen when they give in this way to others. For some of the adults, this probably will never happen. I can only hope for a whiff of appreciation. For the kids and young adults, I can only hope that life provides them an opportunity to give and to learn to service relationships. It is a gift to others, a delicate balance between making others happy and still preserving the self, and one's own happiness.

I am the adult child of a chaotic, violent, alcoholic household, and my tendency is to give and give and give. Until I am exhausted, resentful, hurt and confused. Don't go to that point. That is my advice.

Give for your own reasons. For love, for calm, for relief from pain in another, for deepening a relationship. Never for validation or to gain approval. Therein lies the trap of subservience and resentment.

Time Passes, Children Grow Older, I'm Getting Older, Too

From standing in a muddy hole under a crooked goal with a jersey sizes too big to breathtaking saves for a professional team wearing the best gear available, my son has grown up.

What I wouldn't give to go back, just for a little while, to the time I wrapped him in a warmed towel after a hot bath to remove the mud, and read him to sleep.

As the song goes:

Well, I've been afraid of changing

Cause I've built my life around you

But time makes you bolder

Children get older

I'm getting older, too...

The World Goes On, But You're Not There: What to do?

From http://eternal-earthbound-pets.com/

Notice of Rate Increase: Due to the increased activity associated with the May 21, 2011 Rapture prophesy we have increased our service rates for all new contracts submitted as of 1/13/11.

April 1, 2011: Illinois and Iowa have now been added to our service area.

You've committed your life to Jesus. You know you're saved. But when the Rapture comes what's to become of your loving pets who are left behind? Eternal Earth-Bound Pets takes that burden off your mind.

We are a group of dedicated animal lovers, and atheists. Each
Eternal Earth-Bound Pet representative is a confirmed atheist, and as such will still be here on Earth after you've received your reward. Our network of animal activists are committed to step in when you step up to Jesus.

We are currently active in 26 states, employing 40 pet rescuers. Our representatives have been screened to ensure that they are atheists, animal lovers, are moral / ethical with no criminal background, have the ability and desire to rescue your pet and the means to retrieve them and ensure their care for your pet's natural life.

We currently cover the following states:
Maine,New Hampshire, Vermont, Massachusetts, Connecticut, Rhode Island, Wisconsin, Minnesota, Michigan, Arkansas, Mississippi, Tennessee, Kentucky, West Virginia, Colorado, Oklahoma, Kansas, Washington, Oregon, Idaho, Montana, North Carolina, Georgia, Alabama, Illinois, Iowa.

Our service is plain and simple; our fee structure is reasonable.
For $135.00 we will guarantee that should the Rapture occur within ten (10) years of receipt of payment, one pet per residence will be saved. Each additional pet at your residence will be saved for an additional $20.00 fee. A small price to pay for your peace of mind and the health and safety of your four legged and feathered friends.

Unfortunately at this time we are not equipped to accommodate all species and must limit our services to dogs, cats, birds, rabbits, and small caged mammals. [Please note: we can now offer rescue services for horses, camels, llamas and donkeys in NH,VT, ID and MT ]

Thank you for your interest in Eternal Earth-Bound Pets. We hope we can help provide you with peace of mind.

Blogger's note:

Also, see: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bVL84rRnrhs

A Real Cowboy

This boy sounds so young. Makes me realize that thirteen on a remote ranch in Montana and thirteen in urban L.A. is further apart than miles. As are the values...

Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired

Not well. Under the weather. Sick. Had better days. Feelin' rough. Feelin' like shit. Not myself. Manifesting clinical signs of disease. However you want to say it, I feel cruddy. I am sick. I am: e) all of the above. And damn tired of it. Here, in the second week.

I run out of breath when I shower, and have to rest up after. I go to my knees coughing when I drag my dirty laundry behind me to the laundry room. I cough episodically all night long. I cough throughout the day. I cough until I get light headed and have to kneel or sit.

Bronchitis, pneumonia, sinusitis, herpes simples I outbreak on my upper lip. Not one or two. Or three. The big four; full house; royal flush. But that means I get to take all the good medication and have all the great side-effects as a result. Red, inflamed nose. Nausea. Loss of appetite. Blotchy face. Nice zit on the chin (kick me, why don't ya?). And, I am sure, eventually, a lovely yeast infection.

It's a great day to be me. It's a great day on the farm. Won't you be my neighbor?

April Rainbow, aka Rainey

I now have a horse, a registered Anglo-Arabian mare, 11 years old, 15.2 hh, owned by only one other person, her breeder, a woman. Her dam raced, and is registered at the Jockey Club. She comes from million dollar winning lineage.

I have been sick with bronchial pneumonia for over a week, and, in my first outing from the house in over a week, except for the doctor's office, I went to the livestock auction. Just to be in a different place, one that smelled of horses. I parked close, being unable to ambulate very far without gasping for breath and getting light headed. Slowly, I walked in the warm sun to the holding pens behind the sales arena building. Horses and people and the voices of both enveloped me like an old quilt. I leaned against a gate to rest. Then, I strolled the wide aisle between paddocks.

I saw a gelding that looked promising. He was sound, and fit, and healthy and unflappable. And I flapped him, slapping his loins, yanking on his cinch, pulling his tail, checking his teeth and hooves. He just took it. Hmm, maybe I'd see if he fetched much money... Then, I wandered to the next, and the next, and the next paddock.

I was suddenly wracked by a coughing spell, leaving me light headed and weak. Eventually, I moved on to the next pen, thinking I better go home and to bed pretty soon.

It was weird meeting this horse at the auction. She strained against her lead rope, pushing her head through other people who were looking at her, and tried to reach me. She kept sniffing my mouth, and then laid her forehead and soft nose along my body. Soothing, like she knew I was sick. She just 'held' me that way for a little while. Instead of going home, I made my way into the sales arena and sat down in the front of the audience.

She was brought in, and held herself with dignity and calm. Then, I coughed again. She turned her head in my direction, taking a step toward me before her rider took her the other way. But, still, she turned her head, watching me. A couple of times, she held my gaze, I am sure of it, and I am not starry-eyed that way. She kept her ears forward through it all, a good sign.

Throughout the bidding, I actually shook my head 'no' twice to indicate that I was not going to continue, but, next round, I found my hand up. I was strangely calm, too. Let me make this clear: I did NOT want a mare, I did NOT want a nongaited horse, I did NOT want an auction horse. Yet I ended up with one.

As I watched her move in the arena, smoothly, surely; side passing, backing, stopping abruptly, I thought about her color; 'she's like cinnamon, or paprika, or, I got it: copper!' Not the new shiny stuff, the weathered, been there/done that copper.

As I stood to go pay for her, I took one step and something caught my eye. It was a penny, lying nearby, dusty and with a little mud crowning Lincoln's head. It is now glued in her file, on the page written by her former owner, saying she is a 'good girl'.

Then came the work of bringing her home. My sister came to help. I could not have done it alone. I was too weak to even face the locks on the shop and the big sliding doors leading to my horse trailer back at home. But, we got her home uneventfully. She loaded right up. (That, any horse person will tell you, is worth at least a hundred dollars). Home to meet Sonny and Buddy, the retired old gentlemen geldings that live on my farm.

Even during the excitement of meeting the boys, she came back to check on me a couple times, then returned to act like a girl, such a squealy, fussy, prancey girl. Little squeals and paws of the front hoof.

I am not so much a girly girl. And now I have April Rainbow. Good god... Why can't her name be Calamity Jane Barbed Wire, for cryin' out loud? What the hell do I call her? Not April. The only April I know is a raging angry bull dyke. Not Rainbow; that is WAY too 'tie-dye and tofu meet the Care Bears' for me. I will give her a name with character, an Irish sounding name, and a name befitting the soggy valley in which we live. I shall call her Rainey.

Welcome home, Rainey.

God, I have a princess, and a redheaded one at that...

We Have All Been There

I remember when, I remember

I remember when I lost my mind

There was something so pleasant about that place

Even your emotions have an echo in so much space

And when you're out there without care

Yeah, I was out of touch

But it wasn't because I didn't know enough

I just knew too much

Does that make me crazy?

Does that make me crazy?

Does that make me crazy?

Possibly

And I hope that you are

Having the time of your life

But think twice

That's my only advice

Come on now, who do you

Who do you, who do you, who do you think you are?

Ha ha ha, bless your soul

You really think you're in control?

Well, I think you're crazy

I think you're crazy

I think you're crazy

Just like me

My heroes had the heart

To lose their lives out on a limb

And all I remember

Is thinking, I want to be like them

Ever since I was little

Ever since I was little

It looked like fun

And it's no coincidence I've come

And I can die when I'm done

But maybe I'm crazy

Maybe you're crazy

Maybe we're crazy

Probably

Songwriters: Brian Burton; Thomas Callaway; Gianfranco Reverberi; Gian Reverberi