Email and Facebook etiquette

Everything one writes on Facebook or sends in an email is just a substitute for the spoken work. In other words, if we send it to others or post it on Facebook, we have stated it as fact and as something we support. If we pass on an untruth or unconfirmed statements as 'fact', we are both advancing another's agenda (unwittingly, I hope!), or undermining our own credibility.

We only get one chance with each of our acquaintances at being a person of character and truth. If we value that, we have a duty to verify information before we hit 'forward' or 'send'. If we don't, we lose that chance. I value my credibility with you. I therefore promise to you that I will check out the things I send to you as best I can to confirm their truth, as I have done in the past. Because I know two things: 1) I value my credibility in your eyes, and 2) I value you and your time more than to make you read untruths or rumors because my name is attached to them.

I further promise that if you find that something I have sent you is wrong, untrue or offensive, I will appreciate your feedback and will not be offended for pointing it out to me, because I know you do so out of love and respect for me.

Internet communication has been around long enough that it is time for personal responsibility. If we utilize the technology, we owe it to others to use it responsibly, correctly and with good manners.

Here are some rules we should adopt that might prove useful for Facebook and emails:

(You won't easily find these in books or on websites covering a modern version of etiquette, but they should be part of everyone's introduction to the computer. In fact, I'd lobby for them to be printed on every computer.)

1. Send only what you have checked out and that you want to have associated with your name and character. If you don't know, or don't have the time to check it out: don't send it!!

2. If you regularly forward almost all or all of your emails, shame on you! You are not thinking of your friends or what might really interest them; you are mindlessly cluttering their inboxes and taking up their valuable time. That is not 'staying in touch' nor is it communicating, it is dumping.

3. If you are forwarding items, be responsible and delete the addresses of others you are sending it to. Send it to yourself and put everyone else in the Bcc (blind courtesy copy) box so that personal email addresses aren't out there for others to exploit.

4. If you think something is worth passing on, take the time to make it appear polite and presentable. In other words, colored text, giant text, different fonts, exclamations, capitals, scrolling, emoticons, all that 'stuff' is the equivalent of screaming at your reader. Yes, all those buttons can be used, but SHOULD they? It is irritating to be forced to scroll down, down, down, having one's chain yanked, reading one. GIANT. red. green. blue. word. at. a. time. Make the point, get to the punch line, and let your reader off the hook. They are certain to have other emails to read. If we hogged a conversation in the same manner, we would get slapped or rejected socially, probably both.

If this confirms your current practice, you are a mature, informed and considerate user of modern communication tools. (But, I bet you know someone who could use this email.) If, though, you think this might describe you even a little, rather than take offense, think honestly about your communication with others. I'll bet, even if no one told you directly, someone is thinking you need a primer, and this is it.