So, my husband caught a skunk in the live trap night before last. He forgot about setting the trap, and left for work, early the next day, and was rewarded by a wall of greenish yellow gobby spray (yes, he assures me, it is gobby, not a fine mist at all...). He brought the smell with him into the house, awakening me out of a dead sleep, to change clothes. And, then went to work.
There, he soon realized, through the voluntary and vigorous help of his coworkers, that the smell was not just on his discarded clothing, but his shoes as well. Needing to be in court, he returned home again to change shoes. I was gone by then, driven out of the house after a hasty shower, cosmetics and scrubs in hand.
By the time his part of the court case was over, interventions by the citizenry at large forced him back home to shower and change from the skin out. Again, our home was fouled with each return.
This is not the first time he has had a problem with skunks. Once, not being a farm boy, he shot a skunk in the barn, under my travel trailer, next to the wood pile. My RV was rendered unuseable for a season, the kids and animals refused to go into the barn, the rabbits ate their babies, the hens went off their eggs, well, it was a disaster. AND, for two years, until the four cords of wood were used, we relived that one moment of poor predator management decision-making.
To honor his latest wildlife encounter, I wrote a fictional letter as a public health nurse to his poor beleaguered colleague. I really hope she posts it AND forwards it.
I am a community health nurse in Lame County and am in receipt of a complaint registered with our office regarding the quality of the indoor air at ABC Corporation, anonymously as well as unanimously. As office manager and concerned worker at the aforementioned business, I am sure that you will want to do everything possible to assure the comfort, safety, and continued well-being of your coworkers.
I have developed a useful and user-friendly approach to both remediating the existing source of air fouling and to prevent further repetitions of this threat to air quality.
Please call me if you need further assistance in this matter. I can be reached at: 1-866-wha-the-hell-yado-now, an international number. My office will be located in Baja Sur, California, Mexico for the forsmellable future.
Thank you,
Ms. N. R. Sanity
To eliminate source of air fouling, you will need one (1) large stick and one (1) lawn and leaf size plastic bag, hereafter referred to as the containment garment (please note that for subjects under 65, you may need to double two bags), and one zip-lock tie or eight (8) inches of twine, you know, about this much:
______________________________________.
1. Place containment garment(s) open and flat on floor in pathway well traveled by source of contamination (if source is male, success is usually assured at 0930 in front of the men's room door or 1530 in front of the microwave oven). (My husband usually visits the bathroom at 0900-0930 and makes microwave popcorn at 1530)
2. When source steps into circle of containment garment, pull up sides of containment garment, use stick to fully pack source of contamination down into garment, and secure top with twine. Note: some sources may be more active than others their age. If so, ask for coworker(s) help. I am sure you will not lack volunteers.
3. Place full and secured containment garment at roadside for later (whenever we get around to it) collection. Be sure to call our office within one week for prompt pick up.
Now, the next step is pre-emptive, early education and prevention. Post the following educational poster in all common employee areas, especially those known to generate contamination sources, and good luck:
In case of fire,
STOP, DROP and ROLL.
In case of skunk, DO NOT!!!
--A public service educational poster from the Indoor Air Quality Commisseration
'Your stink is our ink'
No comments:
Post a Comment