Don't Tell Me It's 'Normal'...

Empty Nest Syndrome refers to feelings of depression, sadness, and/or grief experienced by parents and caregivers after children come of age and leave their childhood homes. This may occur when children go to college or get married. Women are more likely than men to be affected; often, when the nest is emptying, mothers are going through other significant life events as well, such as menopause or caring for elderly parents.


Feelings of sadness are normal at this time. It is also normal to spend time in the absent child's bedroom to feel closer to him or her.

Recent research suggests that the quality of the parent-child relationship may have important consequences for both at this time. Parents gain the greatest psychological benefit from the transition to an empty nest when they have developed and maintain good relations with their children. Extreme hostility, conflict, or detachment in parent-child relations may reduce intergenerational support when it is most needed by youth during early adulthood and by parents facing the disabilities of old age. (APA)


The experts thus describe the Empty Nest (EN).  Worse for women than men.  Other life events worsen it. It's okay; it's 'normal'.  Normal to sit crying in an empty room.  


Well, it may be normal, but it sucks.  I am a mom who did everything possible to prepare for the EN, including returning to school to launch an exciting new career as a critical care nurse.  And, yet, I still sat holding baby clothes to to my face as they soaked up my tears.  To know what's normal and to be comforted by those words are two different things.