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In the past couple weeks, I have coordinated several major family celebrations. A 90th birthday for my mother-in-law. A sixty fifth birthday for my husband. A welcome home for kids who haven't been home for months. The house was full, dinners each night were huge affairs that meant hours of shopping, prep work, and cooking. Then, the entertaining. Then, the clean up.In between, I worked. And tried to give my patients the best part of what was left of me. I took one moment at a time, one patient at a time, one meal at a time, one dirty kitchen at a time. And, today, the last person left. The Canadian relatives are home, the Mexicans relatives have returned to their distant abodes, and the out of staters drifted away later. The house is quiet. And much in need of a total cleaning; three bathrooms, five bedrooms, two refrigerators stuffed to absurdity, a neglected garden, a kitchen that, while looking clean, has sticky floors, drips on the fronts of cabinets, a stove, microwave and two ovens that are certifiably unsanitary, and one incredibly grubby carpet.
And, not surprisingly, my energy slowly ebbed over the course of the extended frivolity. And, now, I sit in my marginally habitable home, warm memories flooding me, small stains evoking small smiles. And, I am glad I came through once again for my family, and for George's family. It is for them that I do this, the all encompassing 'them', which over the years has come to mean those folks most important to me, and those important to them.
As I think about the role women have played throughout the existence of mankind, I feel a sense of connection with the ones who came before, the hunters, gatherers, the medicine practitioners, the storytellers and keepers of the secrets and traditions. Because that is what I have been doing for my family, and for George's, in the gatherings and celebrations I put together. Relationships, connectedness, tradition, heritage, all are displayed and shared and confirmed. There is reassurance in the sense of belonging that these gatherings engender.
So, exhausted as I am, I draw sustenance from having been a part of a larger milieu, that of our history and heritage. I'm not sure that the participants were aware of anything beyond the good food, great local wines and beer, good company and laughter. But, they were. And are. All part of the greater aspect of being a family, of being human.
