Buttons Cruisin' Legacy, aka Cruzer

My new horse, rechristened Cruzer by me, is 16 hands of person-loving, powerful, unflappable, go-for-it, all wrapped up in a tri-colored paint package. He does it all; moves up steep hills, walks surely along narrow trails, jumps streams, wades streams, even follows trustingly where he doesn't need to go if his person goes there first. This we know because my niece stepped up onto a flat bed trailer to change boots and he jumped right up with her, even though the trailer was wiggly and not blocked.

He is one owner, I am his second, and he was started by an old cowboy that died last summer. One who raised him with a firm gentle hand and created an animal completely comfortable around humans, believing the best in them. He probably has a better view of humans than most deserve.

I feel honored to be his person. I feel relieved that he didn't end up with someone who uses the whip and the fist to correct those inevitable disagreements that crop up between independent beings. What a waste it would be for him to ever learn the reality of cruelty and domination through fear.

But, with me, he won't ever have to. He will continue to know mutual respect, firmness of handling, and adventure, but never cruelty, never confusion. He is with me now.

Happy St. Patrick's Day

Mine, taken in Killarney, County Kerry

It is that time of year again, when Americans think all Irish people are lazy drunkards who believe in wee people with orange hair. Time, usually, for my general 'get a clue, this is biased thinking' rant. Maybe later. For now, I am at peace with my knowing that one Irish lassie, me, is going to get to spend more time with her husband. More St. Patty's Days, more toasts, more life itself.

Sometimes, its the little things that really are the big things. Like living one more day, week, month. Like saying, 'See ya after work' or 'Meet me later' and believing it possible to do so. Like 'saming and saming and saming again /the same leg flung over mine for a decade of winter nights', as Danielle Steele wrote in her pre-novel poetry years. Sleeping 'back to cat, cat to back' under a quilt make threadbare by being used as tent by babies long grown.

My husband survived a cerebral bleed. He is here, with me, and I with him. More than ever.

Happy Saint Patrick's Day. See ya later.

A horse

Today, I bought a horse. I did it. I am seeking to reconnect with a part of my heart and my soul that helped me through very tough times growing up.

The smell of hay and manure and damp horse was like a balm to my battered soul and body when I was a child. I knew that the horse would listen, and watch, and absorb the tears I shed.

Back then, I knew the horse would take me far from the chaos of that abusive home, night or day. It was the only acceptable excuse I had for being away. Riding became my salvation.

And now, today, in these uncertain times, with an empty nest and a husband recovering from a cerebral hemorrhage, it just might be what delivers me to the other side again, in one piece.

I have a horse.

The Winners!

Google image

These gentlemen are the winners of the 2006 World Chili Cook Off

in the Dutch Oven Category.

No shit.

Aged by this experience

Google image

My husband and I are are holding up pretty well as he recovers from his subarachnoid bleed.

What do you think?

The Eyes Have It

This is a picture of Gavin, our surrogate grandson, on the left, and Winston, our granddog, on the right. See the family resemblance?

Maybe it's just the element of surprise to find themselves members of this chaotic family...

Lindsey Lohan: Madonna OR Oprah you ain't

Google image, web image, everywhere image...

Yeah, anorectic doper girl, the first thought on my mind when I saw those sweet baby faces on e*trade commercials was your sorry ass. NOT.

You were the last person I thought of, and never connected your little hurt anesthetized feelings until you became litigious. You are a legend in your own mind only, as altered as it is.

The name Lindsey, Lyndsey, Lindsie, or however it is spelled by the parents, has been one of the most popular girl names for nearly a decade. Longer, maybe. My kids went to school and college and social events with multiple Lindseys.

And, baby, you have never been accused of being a milk-a-holic...

Check it out: http://www.dailyfinance.com/story/company-news/lindsay-lohan-sues-e-trade-for-100-million-over-super-bowl-sp/19390111/