This sucks!

As I look back on my blog entries of the past week, I see a long list of 'Cali updates'.  Perhaps boring for the reader, but it sums up the focus of my thoughts and mental energy since Cali has been ill.  She is in the hospital, but yet with me, behind every conscious thought and every rote movement I make.  I can be deep in thought and analysis of a patient condition or personal conversation or charting vital signs, and suddenly, my tummy gets quivery and scared and my heart feels all achey.  Tears are just offstage, waiting in the wings to rush out.

Additionally, my hip continues to ache almost constantly, and give peaks of pain upon movement.  I chose not to go to work today, in order to stay off it for a few more days until I work next.  

All in all, it adds up to some very bad, no good, rotten, less than great days, as I used to tell my kids.  A gently sarcastic way of saying, 'This totally sucks'.  And, let me tell you, it does.  Suck.  My kids are safe and happy (as happy as college aged over achievers can be), I love my job, my marriage is solid, and I am grateful.  But, the rest of it sucks.