I am the Cap'n

Image from Talk Like A Pirate Original Site

I celebrate International Talk Like A Pirate Day each year. That means I talk like a pirate on September 19th. I often have dinners featuring entrees such as lamb shanks (whole), turkey drumsticks, boiled turnips, Bilge Water Stew, and lots of rum. And lime, for the scurvy prevention. Guests must eat with only a large knife and two tined fork. They must use a pirate word every time they talk or choose between being keel hauled or swilling grog.

I subscribe to a newsletter put out by the originators of TLAPD, Cap'n Slappy and Ol' Chumbucket, pirates on board the Festering Boil. I recently took the test, 'What Kind of Pirate Are You?' with the following results:

You're the Cap'n

Some men and women are born great, some achieve greatness and some slit the throats of any scalawag who stands between them and unlimited power. You never met a man - or woman - you couldn't eviscerate. You are the definitive (WO)Man of Action, the CEO of the Seven Seas, Lee Iacocca in a blousy shirt and drawstring-fly pants. You're mission-oriented, and if anyone gets in the way, that's his problem, now isn't? Your buckle was swashed long ago and you have never been so sure of anything as your ability to bend everyone to your will. You will call anyone out and cut off his head if he shows any sign of taking you on or backing down. If one of your lieutenants shows an overly developed sense of ambition he may find more suitable accommodations in Davy Jones' locker. That is, of course, IF you notice him. You tend to be self absorbed - a weakness that may keep you from seeing enemies where they are and imagining them where they are not.

Now, that's an accurate description if ever I read one. Except the self absorbed stuff. Not me. If I am, it is not a weakness...