Change in circumstance

Yesterday, a patient of mine woke up after brain surgery with complete paralysis on the left side. He was a big man, tall and powerfully built. Reports from others who knew him before detailed his kindness, strength and humor.

A tumor turned his world upside down at age 66. I watched him struggle to perform the simple tasks I asked of him; grip my hand, wiggle your toes, look this way, say your name, all without success. His right fist, big as a cantaloupe, frantically gripped and gripped, turning white at the knuckles as he willed his left side to do the same.

I spent a couple hours with him and then took him to ICU. I said goodbye and 'Good healing' to him. He held my hand tightly, then gave me a flirtatious lopsided grin and winked with his right eye. Even partially paralyzed, he was a dazzler. It made me at once tickled, then very sad.

I didn't make it to the elevator before the tears came.