Diseases you have never heard of

microscopic view of Vitamin C, Google image

In nursing, I have encountered names for diseases that don't exist; that is, they are mispronunciations of real diseases. I am keeping a list of these because they are so charming, and sometimes, just plain funny.

My maternal grandparents called influenza 'hen-flew-end-ways', a primitive way to remember how the name sounded without really remembering it. And, said quickly, it almost sounds right.

A nursing instructor of mine was confused when her grandfather told the story of a ship he was on being quarantined in New York Harbor because of an outbreak of 'speedle-ma-jesus'. After years of head scratching and questioning, it was discovered to be spinal meningitis.

I often hear of 'Oldtimers' for Alzheimer's, but a recent twist was 'All-timers'. Because, the patient said, it never went away.

One patient confused me when asking about grafts from gadivers. Turns out she meant cadavers.

I would love to have the time to travel and ask the questions that would add to my list. I feel that it would paint a portrait of health care, education, regional influences and superstition.