No fingerprints

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I have dry hands. Not like crusty, flaky ugly hands, but hands that hate dry climates, frequent washings, and alcohol cleansers. Not terrific for a nurse-type like myself.

Add that to the fact that the drugs in my unit are stored in a machine resembling an automatic teller, called a Pyxis, that requires bio-identifiers, in combination with a numerical code, to allow access. Result? The machine frequently denies me access because it cannot detect my fingerprints. My fingers are so dry, they do not make an imprint on the glass of the scanner. No skin oil left, therefore, no fingerprints... Weird. And inconvenient.

So, often I stand there, in front of the digital drug god, desperately trying to gain access to meds that will save my patient from pain, hyper/hypo-tension, seizures, nausea, tachy/brady-cardia, or whatever else I get dealt. All the while, the computer is flashing, scanning, reading, over and over, trying to verify that an actual living finger tip is on the glass scanner surface. My dry, wizzled-up, undetectable fingers. Trying to make an impression for the benefit of a patient. After a few attempts, the machine will refuse to try again, figuring the operator is perpetrating a fraud. Back to square one. This can be a frustrating, protracted, anxiety-producing experience.

So, I cheat. I touch my finger tip to my neck, applying onto it the Lubriderm lotion that I put on everyday. And; voila! Instant detectable fingerprint! Access is approved, and the patient is saved. But, what a hassle. And, I wonder sometimes what I might be transferring to my skin. Eewww.

What a strange system that penalizes both nurse and patient for a flaw such as skin dryness. Seems like only a more profound component should be the cause of delay in getting valuable medication to a critically ill person. Like, maybe, the pharmacist died, or the power plant was hit by a bomb.

You know, I should take up a life of crime. I wouldn't even have to wear gloves to avoid detection. I fly under the radar. I have no fingerprints.